Fed Ex came to deliver a package today, but in the midst of Costello's excitiment pointing to the big truck and me tucking the sisters away after nursing D I unknowingly went to the door...
1. wearing only my bra
2. embarrassed the delivery man to the point where he looked away and asked if he could "return at a better time."
A week prior, I had made plans to meet a friend at my favorite coffee shop. I should probably note that this friend is single and about as far from child bearing as your overies will allow. I hadn't seen her since Dashen was born and was looking forward to our catch up. I tossed up my hair, whipped on some makeup, retired my Old Navy maternity streachy pants, which pretty much have been worn everyday for the last two years, and grabbed my new must have accessorry...the double stroller.
I guess I just assumed she would have figured that meeting up over lunch includes a bit of baby. That I'd bring the boys. But the look on her face, you know that sort of smile which quivers at the corners and reads "ugh really", convinced me that maybe I should have been a bit more clear on the phone. That we'd be a party of three accepting her invite.
"Hi" she said as she watched me struggle my big ass double stroller through the petit cafe's doors. "I didn't realize you'd have the kids."
"Surprise" I said. "Don't worry I have snacks"
The next few minutes were full of small talk, coffee orders, and selective table searching. Looking for a place to sit that's close to the door and accessible without having to ask too many women, who's ovaries were also backpacking across Europe, to move. She continued to fill me in about her plans, the men in her life, dislikes of new fall trends, work stuff. And, honestly, I was trying to be a good friend with an occasional nod and a reaffirming "oh, i see". But to be honest, to say i had retained much more then a "how's your coffee" while anxiously trying to distract my kids with gold fishies and Cheerios would be an overstatement.
"Mommy" Costello interrupted, as he pointed to me with a half devoured gluten free cracker on his finger. "Yum, thank you honey." Sure a napkin may have come in handy, or even the edge of my plate, but my mouth was my first instinct, and those gluten free crackers are expensive and not half bad.
To me, this act of mommyhood did not seem odd. We see it all, right? What's wrong with eating a half eaten cracker? But clearly, judging by the look of disgust on my coffee partner's face, I had just crossed a line. A line which I'm guessing divides woman into two groups, those with children, and those without. A line that finds me chasing naked bums around the house, combing dried bananas out of my hair, and excepting Fed Ex packages in my bra.
I doubt she'll be asking me to coffee again anytime soon. In the meantime, the great divide continues. Much like an elementary game of dodge ball where the half the class lines up on one side of the gym and the other on the opposite. I'll happily join my new team of friends with double strollers and latte's in tow.
until next time - ABCD